Béla Hamvas: Heloïse and Abélard
1.
Only ephemeral works
are worth publishing; immortal ones can stay in manuscripts.
When the author dies the maid can collect them in a basket and take them to
the kitchen to make the fire. If something has been written immortally, its
existence does not depend on human memory. It has triumphed somewhere else,
eternally and infinitely. It did not want credit or fame, money or power, it
did not wish to teach or please. Why would it want fame, money, power, praise
or credit? Every work takes place somewhere, and in every work something takes
place. Almost all of them take place here on earth, between man and man. I
want to persuade someone, I want to entertain, teach, fight, argue, conquer,
amaze. The eternal work does not take place here. But higher. And deeper. And
what is in it takes place between man and God. It has taken place. Even if
no one knows. And God remembers in his heart when the paper has burnt, just
like a porphyry obelisk disintegrates like sand. It has nothing to do with
the book any more; it does not need a reader. It does not need a storyteller.
Immortal works have almost all burnt away, and from the
few we have left no one knows where they got lost, what they are, who wrote
and what. No one can have an idea about the loss, just like no one can
know the thoughts of the one who set off to the ocean on a lonely boat
all by his own and never returned.
2.
Abélard
and Heloïse took to each other. Their correspondence, in the
form it survived from the Middle Ages, is probably not authentic.
Much has been written and said about their relationship. But
we do not know what it was like. The letters must have later
been edited by someone, who also added a lot to them and created
unity in a material which was probably full of contradiction
and confusion. It is the opposite of Homer’s case. Homer bound
all the small heroic narratives into one, and the many names
of the original authors all merged into his.
The letters of Abélard
and Heloïse were also collected by such a Homeric being, but
his name got lost; only the hero and the heroine survived.
This is the case of anonymous immortality. There was no need for the memory
of his personal self to survive. He did his job, but not for man, whom he does
not even tell his name. God knows very well in his heart who he was, although
his name is not important. What he wrote on these sheets of paper is human
memory, it is independent of fame or praise. Among all humans, he was the only
one to understand the woman, love and marriage.
3.
I cannot look through
the eyes of God; I can only see the woman through my own eyes,
the eyes of a man. And man has considered and still considers
the woman as a being whose presence is inexplicable and irrational.
Everything
was ready in the world when she appeared; perhaps she was late,
maybe she intruded. Anyway, she was not part of the original
design of the world. She came later, perhaps to make up for a lack or to
prevent something dangerous from happening. As if due to some fateful negligence
somewhere in the world, perhaps a serious and major mistake, which threatened
the whole with subversion. Here at this faulty point, in this dangerous
and threatening lack the woman appeared to mend matters.
But as it usually
happens, what is used to mend a mistake never fully fits the
original design. It is a bit out of place; it bears marks of later creation.
And as it always is, without exception, just because she was created later
and does not fit the rest, she does not mend the mistake, nor does she eliminate
it. She is a more or less good solution, but only a solution. She is not organically
intergrown in the whole where she was placed. Therefore in
the woman one can always sense that original, dangerous negligence, some kind
of chasm, darkness or abyss. The woman for the man is not what the bitch is
for the animal; because the bitch belongs in the animal world, it has been
there ever since the beginning and is not out of place there. But the woman
is. She is disquieting for two reasons: due to her place in the world, because
she hides danger from man; and due to her very being, because she is not the
same age as man and she is not coessential with him. As if there had been a
crack left somewhere in the wall of the house, and the hole was fixed only
later with a stone, which can never completely adapt.
4.
It is the man who usually has the feeling that the woman is half of his being; and he also has another feeling, that the woman is the irrational act in the world. The former opinion is shared by many, just like the latter. Nowadays the former one tends to be accepted. Only a woman and a man make a whole human being, says Kant, most probably after Swedenborg.
It is the man who usually has the feeling that the woman is half of his being; and he also has another feeling, that the woman is the irrational act in the world. The former opinion is shared by many, just like the latter. Nowadays the former one tends to be accepted. Only a woman and a man make a whole human being, says Kant, most probably after Swedenborg.
Everybody has heard of Plato’s myth, according to which
in times immemorial humans used to have two faces, four arms
and four legs, but they were so strong that the gods were afraid of them,
so they cut them into half.
This is how the woman
and the man were created. The gods did not need to be afraid
any more and humans did not think about ruling the world because
they spent their entire lives looking for their other half.
Swedenborg says that in the hereafter there are no separate
male and female beings, but marriages in which a man and a
woman unite thus making one single spirit-being. According
to Welkisch, the present day disciple of Swedenborg, man and woman are
twin-spirits (Dualgeist); very rarely the twins do meet on earth, but they
have to wait for each other in the hereafter and they can only enter divine
existence together. After Weininger’s immature and rhapsodic theory and
in accordance with Eastern teaching Jung claims: in the unconscious of
every man there exists a woman, the Anima, the complementary part of the
man; and in the depths of the psyche of every woman there exists a man,
the Animus, the complementary part of the woman. These theories all grasp
the instinctive feeling that the man is the half of the woman and the woman
is the half of the man, and that the two together only can be a whole,
full and complete.
Not everyone used to share this opinion. It says in one
of the myths of the Kabbala that one night before Adam God
destroyed the world because man was not androgynous like him,
but he was only male. He only left one man and he created the
woman from him too. According to this myth when God only created the man
there was a mistake and this had to be corrected later. This correction,
the woman, who appeared only later, is the patch over the dangerous spot
of the world. This is the myth about the Idumean night.
The Bible says that
before Eve appeared Adam had lived together with several beings.
One is even named: Lilith, who was a charming monster. From
the affair of Adam and Lilith demons were born. But the man
could not live with this charming being for a long time, and
this was when Eve appeared. Eve’s origin is, however, dual.
Some say that the word means woman, that is, wife. According
to others: Hevah means the reversed being.
Jakob Böhme claims
that in paradise man was androgynous, similarly to God. When
he fell he split into two and the divine woman in him rose
above to God: this divine virgin was Sophia. Sophia, by the way,
had also been known by the gnostics, and even in old Egypt.
Man was given Eve, the flesh woman, as a substitute for Sophia.
The divine virgin is the natural half of man in paradise.
But she does not live on earth. Man who fell into matter cannot live together
with Sophia, the pure spirit-virgin, but received Eve as a result
of his sin. Eve is not the true and perfect complement of man.
Only a replacement for Sophia, a substitute, and a bad one, who is not
a soul-spirit, but only flesh and blood, nature and matter.
5.
The genius, ancient
myths and mystic intuition all claim that the woman’s presence
in the world is irrational. The very fact that the explanations
about her metaphysical stance vary seems to prove this. There
is the harmony theory, which says that the woman is the half of the man and
the two together are one, but there are other theories, too, which claim that
the relation between the two beings is not like that between the two halves
of the whole. The variety of interpretations shows that there is something
wrong here. We should come up with a list of Chinese, Hindu and other myths
and mystic explanations which support either the unity or the difference concept.
This is not the goal
now. It is obvious that there exists and has existed in everybody
and since the very beginning that disquieting something: the
woman is out of place in the world or not, she fits in it or
not, she often disturbs, always excites, as if she were hiding something with
her being, a mistake a fateful danger, and as if she could not hide it well because
her irrational being only increases this danger, and by hiding it, only makes
it even more enticing, and she herself does not belong in the whole of the world.
The origin of the woman is completely different from that of
the man.
This confusion is only
exacerbated by the fact that the psychology of the woman has
never been understood by anyone. Whatever has been attempted in this field
is less than pathetic. Most do not go further than basing their arguments
on Eve the woman-wife, Lilith the charming, Sophia the divine virgin or
the beast from the animal world. They fail to see that the psychology of
the woman has to account for all these archetypes and plenty others: the
siren, the mother, Pallas Athena and many others. The base of female psychology,
however, should never be humane. Because if the mystic theories and myths
concerning the origin of the woman teach us something, it is that we should
not and cannot understand the woman relying on the same background we use
for the man. A mere psychological point
of view is unsuitable even when trying to understand the man,
and with the woman it is completely futile. The so-called attribute
theories tell me nothing about her. The woman is not a being;
she is a set of beings. Pallas, Lilith, Mother, Siren, Sophia,
Eve, the woman of the Idumean night, Anima.
These beings are all
present and alive at the same time in all women. These are
the hidden possibilities of female existence. The forms and
primeval germs of the existence and being of the female soul.
The woman has probably passed through all these forms and contains them in herself.
Jung would call these the archetypes of the female soul. But it must be pointed
out here that what Jung calls an archetype is not yet a soul,
but only the form of its earlier existence preserved in its memory. The archetype
is a magical formula, which can be conjured up, but since it is the vestige of
an existence long past, it is only a demon in the present soul and therefore
it is boundlessly dangerous to conjure it up. Anyone who confuses such archetypes
of the female soul, that is, not its components but its past forms of existence,
with the woman herself calls forth this danger. Even Jung does this as much as
he identifies the archetype with the woman, and so does everybody who considers,
regards and understands the woman either as Eve, Lilith, Anima or Sophia.
6.
I can object to whatever
antique Hellenism created. I may for some reason not acknowledge
their poetry, architecture, philosophy or their myths. I can
say that this or that is better, more perfect, purer, warmer,
truer and higher. But there is something I cannot object to.
This is the Greek sculpture. Even if I do not acknowledge it. There is no more
perfect, more human, purer and truer sculpture than the Greek one. Probably
there will never be. For in all that Hellenism created there is something disturbing,
doubtful, fake, aggressive. But not in sculpture. It is only the Greek sculpture
that makes it possible for me to stand face to face with the divine man.
Therefore I can object
to whatever Hellenism created, but I must acknowledge Greek
sculpture without any explanation. Other peoples, ages, times,
races may have created a truer picture about the divine man
in poetry, philosophy, in history or public affairs. In sculpture,
once and for all, irrevocably and for good, the divine man has been understood
and presented by Hellenism. The only subject of the Greek sculpture is the divine
man. All there is left to do is either to imitate or to admire, but nothing else.
Many of the antique
Greek sculptures depict a female figure, girl or Aphrodite
who already stands naked with the sheet somewhere beside her,
or is just undressing and something implies that she is preparing
to take a bath. The pre-nuptial bath of the young woman is
not at all an act of hygiene. If nothing else, the curious emphasis of representation
proves the exceptional significance of the religious rite. It would be obvious
to think that the young woman wants to give away her blossoming body to the first
embrace clean. And indeed this would be the situation if the sculpture were not
radiating a supernatural light. The Greek sculpture is never man, but always
and in all cases, it is the divine man.
Little children often
believe that the stars are not luminous celestial bodies like
the Sun, but little holes on the black curtain of the nocturnal
sky, and through these holes shines the light of the hereafter.
As if such holes had opened up on the sculptures of young women
preparing for a bath, and as if these holes were the gateway to the supernatural
world. Every sculpture is like a star. The act of undressing is symbolic and
religious; taking off her clothes, not the cloth but the clothes that her real
being wears, means taking off nature. She takes off, or washes off herself everything
that is not her.
So that the one who
takes part in the embrace should be really her? This explanation
misses the point. What this is about always goes back to the
original idea. The subject of the Greek sculpture is the divine
man. The subject of the female sculpture is the divine woman.
This sculpture is the divine woman. And when she undresses, this magical act
is nothing else but the sculptor’s act of taking the human-material curtain off
the woman; he lifts it up and shows the divine woman.
This mystical bath is
very similar to death, when the psyche leaves its clothes here
and washes off everything that covers its real being. The dead
have to be washed before they are delivered to the lord of
the hereafter. This is the symbolic bath. Naturally, there
would be no point in washing the dead body before burial to help it decompose.
The pre-nuptial bath and the bath of the dead body is the mystical rite of melting
off all sheets. And when the Greek girl takes the jug and leaves her clothes
behind to take a bath she is perfectly naked, actually and truly, once in this
whole human existence; she has taken off everything that is not her and has washed
off of herself everything that does not belong to her being.
This is the explanation
for the supernatural light of these female sculptures; this
is why it seems as if through the sculpture there had opened
a little hole on the dark curtain of nature, and through this
hole there shone some clear light. The Greek female sculpture
depicts the moment when the woman washes nature off herself in her mystic bath
and the glorious and divine psyche appears. The being who she really is, the
one preparing for the nuptials, who takes part in the nuptials, who is touched
by the man’s embrace? Is this why the sculpture is glittering, is this why it
is a star, is this why it seems as if through it we can look into the hereafter?
No. The nuptials that the divine psyche is preparing for has nothing to do with
the man’s arms. It does not have to do anything with it because this is not why
the girl washes off nature and shows herself in her divine being. The meaning
of the nuptial is something totally different. The bodiless, aerial psyche has
taken off its clothes, the mystic liquid is there in the jar and it will
wash off the hair, the flesh, the muscles, it will dissolve
its form and nothing palpable remains of it. The glittering psyche shines in
and through the sculpture. The profane and base eye, which is the eye of the
modern man, does not understand this divine light which surpasses all ordinary
beauty and shines through these sculptures. They interpret it as mastery, taste,
knowledge or talent. Never has mastery, taste, knowledge or talent created anything
which surpasses nature. What shines in these women is not the beauty of the material,
form, charm or proportion. Probably it has nothing to do with
beauty. The profane eye only sees a desirable woman. What is curious is that
this woman is not at all desirable. This woman is the woman. This woman is the
psyche, this psyche is the woman. This is the source of the woman. This is the
origin.
This is the opportunity
to look into immaterial radiance, the hereafter, the eternal
and heavenly light, from which the woman was born. This is
the moment when one meets face to face with the divine origin
of the woman. We should not forget that the only subject of
the Greek sculpture is the divine man, and the Greek girl is the divine woman.
The charming and seductive
form of the female body here is the form, means and material
of expression, just like the marble. This is that cosmic and natural conventional
sign which
helps us understand what this is all about. But the sculpture
itself is not of the body, as it is not of material, not of
marble. The sculpture is of the psyche and it depicts the psyche
at the moment when the woman in her mystic bath washes nature
off herself and appears once in her life in her original and
primeval being.
According to Greek mythology
every year the queen of the gods, Hera, bathes back her maidenhood
in order to sacrifice it again and again to her husband Zeus.
Goddess Hera knew that if she washes nature off herself and
becomes psyche, she will again become the primeval woman, the
primeval virgin; she will become virginal like light, like the stars. She will
return to the source of womanhood, puts on herself the original form of the woman,
her first being, and returns regenerated and glorified.
7.
The
psyche which is depicted by the Greek marble girl is completely
and perfectly different from the soul of the man. It is not its supplement,
equivalent, not its negative, positive or half. The origin
of the woman is perfectly different from that of the man; the
psyche of the woman is different too. Some may like to call
this psyche emotional. The woman is an emotional being because
it does not think, concede; she just loves, hates, feels sympathy or antipathy,
cries, laughs, grieves; fluctuates, changes, floats like the
warm, cold, like sound, like feeling, like music. Some would like to believe
that her main feature is not emotion but sensitivity because she reacts
so quickly to everything that touches her and responds so finely as a flower.
Sensitivity has nothing to do with sensuality or the senses; sensitivity
is not a natural but a psyche feature. And the woman is able to become
so fine but also so rough, become so noble but fall so deep because what
she experiences affects her more fatefully.
The basic feature of
the female psyche is neither emotion nor sensitivity. Anyone
can say that the man is thought, act, spirit or creation. Somehow,
figuratively, this can be understood. Even if they would not guess the
point, they would not totally miss it. If they say that the woman is an
emotional or sensitive being, they would not even remotely touch upon the
point. There is only one word which can signify and which does signify
the female psyche, and this word is: woman. Nothing else. It cannot be
understood in any other way, and there is no abstract meaning for this
word, and one cannot talk about the woman in an abstract meaning. Which,
of course, means that there are prior things in the fate of a man, things
which all come before his sex. In womanhood sex is at the first place.
But for the woman the idea that her sex is goal, fate and the absolute
applies only as much as all the others: emotion or sensitivity. The woman
is much more than and different from merely her features. The
word woman cannot be substituted by anything else. The woman
cannot be abstracted or understood from the man, nature or
the beast.
There is a possible
knowledge of the man. If we take into account only the lengthy
volumes of modern characterology, we can say that this knowledge
is considerable. But in the whole of characterology there is
nothing referring to the woman. What is more, not even from
the psychology of the literature of the whole world can I learn
anything about the woman. The woman does not have a history, but a mythology,
and so her psychology is much simpler. Which means it is more direct. Which,
on the other hand, means that it is boundlessly more difficult.
The brilliant star being
and glittering psyche of the Greek marble girls knows this.
There can be no mistake. I cannot consider a woman anyone but
who is indeed a woman. And no woman can be considered anything
else but a woman. This light, this blinding glare, this immaterial,
bodiless being? this is the female psyche, so much so that
if the sculptures disappeared and their form dissolved, even then nothing
else could be said but: woman.
8.
To say that love is
the unification of existence split into two is just as erroneous
as it is to say that love is one and one. Love is not symmetrical.
Most probably neither Swedenborg, nor Welkish, nor Jung is
right when they think about the relationship between man and
woman as symmetrical; that nothing special happens here, but
what is told by the platonic myth; the two halves of a being meet again
after they have been split into two as the result of the jealousy of the
gods. The mystery of love is exactly the opposite: that the perfectly different
man and the perfectly different woman, whose place in the world, origin,
nature, form, aim, fate is totally foreign and different, these two asymmetrical
beings meet and merge into each other. It is perhaps possible that in sex
the animal world unites beings which are positioned symmetrically to the
left and right, up and down, on the positive or negative side. But it is
absolutely sure that with humans love unites worlds and beings which are
totally different. Since, if it was merely the unification of two complementary
forms, it would hardly fulfill that gripping wish rooted in the metaphysical
depths of humans which everybody must experience, and if they do not experience
this, they will be left poorer than a blind beggar. The unexpected miracle
and unimaginable moment in the mystery of love is exactly that the ones
who merge do not belong and have never belonged together. No one can find
the explanation for love in nature; in nature there is only sex. For love
to flare up divine intervention is needed; without this the beings and
worlds so different from each other can never meet.
9.
The
origin of love is surely different from that of sex. Love is
the relationship between the divine woman and the divine man,
and in this relationship two creatures who are totally different
in their source, their time of origin, their metaphysical being,
and who can never be equalled or reduced to the same denomination,
meet and unite in the divine mystery. Sex, on the other hand, is the complementation
of proportionate and symmetrical natural beings. Kant is right;
only a man and a woman make a whole human being? In nature.
In love the meeting of the divine man and the divine woman
is not a whole, but more than that. It is as much more as God
is more than nature. Man and woman uniting in love are the mystical merging
of two creative psyches. From sex springs a new natural being, from love
springs a new psyche. If two natural beings unite without love, then it
is merely the unification of two natural beings. This is the case of the
animal world? Perhaps. But there is love which is the meeting and merging
of two psyches without sexual intercourse. This is the love which breeds
the immaterial psyche.
Man confuses
love and sex. Often he regards something which is merely sex
as love, and thinks that, without exception, all love must
end in sex. And man thinks that beings are created by sex.
Beings are created by love, sex only adds the clothes, which
are the burden and which need to be taken off anyway. Only
two psyches can create, and this is love, which creates without
sexual intercourse. When sex submerges and fades away, when
the two psyches are swooped by the other’s divine being, when
even the thought of any touch or approach seems dreadful and
disgraceful, when the other, unfamiliar being lights a fire
which strikes out of nature like lightening, that is the moment
of begetting in the psyche-love.
Do not think that this
moment is rare. Everybody, unless they have lived a life of
oblivion, can remember passionate moments, alone in their room
at night, or in the sun at noon in the forest, on a mountaintop,
at sea, or on a summer afternoon lying in a sweet-scented orchard,
when the divine woman was either at an unreachable distance
or right there, it does not really matter, they got so enraptured
that something burst out from them, and the woman, even if she was a hundred
miles away, apprehended it and took it in.
Those who have not experienced
this moment of psyche-begetting and do not know that the girl
is preparing for this act will understand nothing of the Greek
sculpture of the divine girl. She steps into a mystic bath
in order to dissolve off herself everything that would disrupt
this nuptial of the psyche. More psyches are born from these
invisible, supernatural acts than are humans from sex. And these psyches
populate the divine world space ? the space whose light flashes through
the marble girls, as if through little cracks on the dark curtain.
10.
The
natural act of sex is totally independent of love. And when
the first psyche used the meeting of the natural sperm and egg so that
it can also appear, live and take its place in nature; this First
Soul connected the divine psyche love with the sex of nature
and with reproduction, this degraded love and immersed it in
sex. Creation and reproduction are two different things.
The confusion of love
and sex is the unlawful unification of two processes which
belong in two totally different worlds. It is curious that
none of the three basic aspects of human knowledge, the genius,
ancient myth or mystic intuition, has paid any attention to
this most significant moment. Unlike to the consequences, which
have been observed by many more and much more often. Since this unlawful
unification there has existed in the love of both man and woman the fear
of befouling each other. Christianity calls it the original sin, but that
is only a name. Everybody knows about it even if they have not heard the
name.
In sex the meaning of
the divine mystery of love grows dim and sex becomes the barrier
to the unification of the two totally different world creators.
Love and sex, the way man lives it, is a prohibited magical
act which offers an opportunity for more and more creatures
to use it as a way of breaking into nature. From the magic
act only First Souls can be born, which means half elementary, half psyche
beings. These are the creatures which ancient myth sees as fish girls,
man horses, boys with goats’ feet and girls with birds’ feathers. The typical
male character of the First Soul is the titan, and the corresponding female
character is the siren.
11.
For
the titan and the siren existence is a prey. They live in order
to pillage joy in the world. This joy is always sensual, natural, material
and physical. When the First Soul goes for either gold, power,
glory, art, knowledge or the other sex, without exception,
it always believes that it has to treasure up something, and
thinks that this accumulation, this wealth is the joy, the
pleasure. The First Soul lives in order to devour life, that is why it
is sensual and like a predator.
Whoever thinks that
the relationship between the man and woman of today is that
of a titan and a siren is wrong. The whole of Europe since
the very beginning has known no other relationship between
the man and the woman other than that of the titan and the
siren. It is not without reason European love has been named
Faustian. Faust is still a symbol; the old magician who betrays himself
even to the evil in order just to be able to go for the siren’s sensual
charms. This is the real European man, the mere titanic sex, that only
sees pleasure in the other sex and considers it as a prey.
All one has to do is
watch when a European man looks at a woman; when he has a look
at her. This looking is already touching. He seeks for pleasure.
And the woman is virtually bathing in this look. And what happens
here is just the opposite of the mystical bath: she bathes
on herself all that the marble girl washes off.
The question can be
put: who is the ideal of man? Lilith, the siren, the seducer,
whose being is unconsciousness, daze, drunkenness; it is exciting,
enchanting, intoxicating; that is, charming? Nothing has woman
ever meant here but what is the symbol of sensual delight.
She is for robbing her off her charm then she can go to the
cloister (Hamlet) or to prison (Faust). The woman is a siren. And she has
become one. She is unworthy of her own divine origin, she is to her primeval
beauty as parvenu to money; she considers it as capital which she lets
for use ; she is the capitalist of beauty, the exploiter of her faculty.
The divine woman has become mere matter in the hands of the sacrilegists,
and dips the most irrational miracle of the world in the gutter, exchanges
it for halfpennies and sells it at the fly infested marketplace. The siren
is the woman who betrays her own divine psyche to matter.
12.
"Ce
mal d’être deux," says Mallarmé. That is the marriage of modern man,
where intimacy is replaced by routine, and sincerity by unchastity. This
is the dread of being two, always disturbed, aroused, irritated,
mocked, jabbed, stung by insects, wounded and tainted with
looks and thoughts. Marriage: to tie the titan and the siren
together, who after a few weeks’ gross orgy find themselves
satiated and want to tear apart with all their strength.
That is then what they
call disappointment. When the titan and the siren realise that
they have robbed what they could, they want to escape, they
want new prey. They think and say that they have not found
what they were looking for. It is natural. What they were looking
for is nowhere. They wanted satisfaction. But they cannot satisfy
each other. There is no satisfaction in the world of the First Soul. There
is only gross insensibility there.
When they get tired
and they have to stay together, then comes neurasthenia: "Ce mal d’être
deux," this is the dread of being two. They cannot stay balanced,
clean, serene, clear on their own any more. In every hour of
every day they give and receive venomous stabs. And then one
breaks out and staggers to another woman; then the other breaks
out and comes at another man. But, since they look for and
demand the same, they get the same.
They think that there
is a man or woman somewhere they will not be disappointed in,
who will satisfy them and with whom they will be happy. Of
course, by happiness they mean the prolongation of sensual delights into
infinity. Some think they have made the wrong choice and missed the real
one. They try a new one. But they see, get and live the same. Because they
expect, demand and wish for the same. It never occurs to them that it is
not another man or woman they should want; what could and should be wanted
is different, that is quite different. It is not delight and satisfaction.
As long as they want this, after a while they necessarily experience: "Ce mal d’être deux," the dreadful experience of
being two. Love is not pleasure and not happiness, it is not
delight, fun or sensuality. And marriage is even less so.
13.
According
to the myth the first man lived together with Lilith. Lilith,
the lover. The siren, the woman of sensual delights, the mere sex-woman.
But the first man got bored with her and sent her away. Then
came Eve, the wife.
This is the beginning
of marriage. The basis of marriage is totally different from
that of sex. The basis of marriage is the psyche-love.
There are two beings
needed for sex: the titan and the siren. Nothing else. That
is enough. In order for marriage to happen, besides the two
beings it is also necessary to have the approval of the Powers.
Never and nowhere on earth has any people lived who did not
know that for marriage they needed divine approval and consecration.
Sex is always unlawful. That is why it hides under bushes, into woods,
dark streets and filthy back rooms. Marriage is lawful. It dwells clearly,
it is publicly beautiful and proud. One can only become a husband or wife
in higher consecration. Not even love is enough. Not only because there
is no pure love, but also because love becomes pure as a result of the
consent of the divine forces. No kind of love, not even the deepest and
most passionate one should be confused with marriage. The act of marriage
takes place not in the natural world but in the psyche world. Two psyches
marry each other. Now it is getting clearer what the mystic bath of the
Greek girl means.
Today in our profane
times this sounds like cheap moralising. The civil marriage
is when the state audaciously substitutes itself for God and
feels authorised to marry people. This act is the official
permission for defloration.
It is official but not
lawful. It is not in front of the state or the authorities
that marriage becomes lawful. But even in our age one can feel
that the relationship of man and woman cannot stand on its own. There needs
to be a higher agency, and it is only through this that they can meet.
The encroachment of the authorities into this higher agency is impudence.
Because the point of marriage is not that a permission is necessary. No.
The point of marriage is that it has to be done in a higher world. Only
in God can, may and should two people meet, unite and live. Against which
there is no better example than the profane marriage of the modern man.
Living together will not even accidentally be successful, and it is only
the source of endless agony, unhappiness and horror. "Ce mal d’être
deux." Of
course, we are not talking about the marriage of convenience
here. In marriages of convenience the fact that the marriage
has taken place not in the higher world but in matter appears
unbashfully. But the marriage of sex is nothing else but an
extreme case of the marriage of convenience: this is just the
same a meeting from below and the meeting only of the lower
parts. The condition of meeting and uniting exists only up
above; above man. Marriage is not a physical but a metaphysical relationship,
just as the marble girl says when she washes off of herself matter before her
nuptials and prepares to step before the Powers so as to be initiated into the
mystery by the divine hand.
14.
In
marriage two processes of unification take place at the same
time; only a man and a woman make a whole.
This act is called reintegration;
it is the restitution of the unity of the ancient human personality.
The other unification is infinitely more important and essential;
this is not the meeting of the two parts but the mystical merging
and creative movement of the two psyche worlds by divine touch.
This marriage is not reintegration but divination. It is not
the restitution of unity but it is deification. In this man and woman do
not reproduce but create, or in other words, take part in divine creation.
The other sex is there so that divination can take place. That is why there
is the man for the woman, and the woman for the man. The perfectly and
completely different beings and worlds. They have to enter this strange
and different world, and they have to leave themselves there and submerge
in the other element. This is love. This forgetting about myself and melting
into the other. The condition of complete self-surrender exists only in
the other sex. I can keep myself in all of my deeds and thoughts, in every
incident of my life. But not in love: here I have to give myself up completely.
That is why beings that
are tied to their Selves, titans and sirens, cannot love. I
cannot give myself up in a way that I get myself back. The
one I get back is not the one I was. It is more, richer, simpler,
purer and more divine.
That is the secret of
love. I have to get lost and I have to perish. And Barth says:
perishing means not only a little, but completely. Without
cancellation, consideration, condition or caution. In the mystery
only two beings that have perfectly perished can partake in
deification.
15.
In
the correspondence of Heloïse and Abélard the immortal anonymous
author depicted the moment when the love of the two beings, the male Abélard
and the female Heloïse, takes sex off itself, like the Greek
girls take off nature, and they unite in the mystery of the
psyche love. This is the only fulfilled and happy love of the
history of the world. Bold, unrealisable and impossible, but
this is the commanding and imperative and the only true love. What he says
is not an illustration, example, teaching or theory; similarly, it does
not want money, fame, it does not set laws nor asks to follow. That is
how he discussed it with himself and God. And that is so.
Translated from Hungarian by Péter Simon